In the previous chapter, the importance of moderation and the harms of excessive sexual intercourse have been highlighted. The question arises as to what could be termed as moderation and how often should sexual intercourse take place in the ideal marriage?
It is difficult to pronounce a hard and fast rule as far as this question is concerned. The answer will vary from individual to individual, keeping in mind the need of both husband and wife. However a general guideline in this regard should serve as a source of guidance.
According to scholars once a week is acceptable and falls within the ambit of moderation.
Hakeem Jalinoos was once asked by someone how often should a person engage in sexual intercourse. He replied: Once in a lifetime. When he was asked again, he replied: Once every year. Once more he was asked. He replied: Once a month. He was asked for a final time. He replied: Once a Week and a person that goes beyond this doesn’t deserve to be counted amongst the living!(indicating there by that he would be better off dead than alive due to the illnesses and weakness that would make his life miserable).
Hakeem Jalinoos was asked: What is true desire? He replied. When a person cannot differentiate between sky and earth, that is true desire! Inn other words, the desire and urge is very strong and vehement…
Even in the Ahadith there is a subtle indication where regarding Jumma the words: “Ghasala wa wa Ghassala” are used; indicating that where a person takes a bath himself on Fridays, he causes his partner also to take a bath (due to coitus). And Jumma comes once every week, hence coitus aught to take place once a week. And Allah knows best.