The Psychological preparation for sexual intercourse is equally important as intercourse itself. Anything that will cause distraction or distaste should be avoided completely. This will turn the opposite partner “off”, with detrimental consequences for the couple as well as their marriage.

Amongst the factors that are a major “turn-off” is dirt, filth, bad, odours and uncivilized behaviour. Particularly a bad odour from the mouth or body is very unpleasant and the habit of smoking can kill passion and desire for the opposite partner altogether. It is of extreme importance that the mouth be clean, especially with smokers, who should take extra precaution in this regard.

It is part of the beautiful habit of our pure and honourable Master, Rasulullah (Sallallahnu-Alayhi-Wasallam), that the used to apply itr (scent) and that he used to perform the miswaak (cleansing of the mouth and teeth) before intercourse. Even in such Minute and apparently insignificant matters, he showed us the path to success and bliss. It will indeed be unfortunate if we do not appreciate and practice his teachings and habits, i.e. the Sunnah.

Ibne-Jauzi (Rahimahumullah) states in Saidul Khatir” that the couple should should fix a certain part of the day or night for intercourse in order that both of them prepare physically and psychologically for time. This will increase and heighten their pleasure. Furthermore, it will eliminate the possibility of any one of them being in an undesirable or unprepared state of mind or body.

It is for this reason that one learned scholar states that a man should inform his wife of his intentions to have sexual relations from the morning in order that both be prepared fully at the appropriate time.

It us for this very reason that Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alay-hi-Wasallah) and the Sahaba-Kiram (Radiyallahu-Anhum) would not enter their homes during the night after returning from along journey. Rather, they would enter only in the morning. The ideal was to give the womenfolk sufficient time to prepare themselves for their husbands. In the words of Rasullallah (Sallallahu-Alay-hi-hi-Wasallah):

In order that the unkempt, disheveled women comb their hair and the unprepared ones shave (shaving of pubes, underarms, etc)”-MISHKAAT

There can be no greater turn-off to a returning husband than to find his wife in an unkempt, untidy condition. It is therefore necessary that he announce his imminent arrival either by way of letter, telephone or a messenger, in order that his wife prepare herself for his arrival.

THE DO’S AND DON’TS OF SEXUAL
RELATIONS-IN BRIEF

DO’S

1.Wudhu, miswaak and scent
2.Proper intention
3.Prepare psychologically
4.Foreplay
5.Recite respective duas
6.Keep in mind correct/preferable times.
7.Keep in mind correct posture
8.Afterplay
9.Urination after intercourse
10.Cleansing private parts
11.Fresh bath before next intercourse
12.Bath as soon as possible
13. Conceal private affairs

DON’TS

1. Complete nudity

2. Face Qiblah

3. Stand during intercourse

4. Excessive Speech

5. Gaze at private parts

6. On a full stomach

7. With a full bladder

8. On prohibited nights

9. Fantasizing

10. Excessive indulgence

11. Drink water immediately thereafter

12. Anal sex

13. Sex during menstruation



N.B. Each of the above points are now discussed individually for a better insight into each one.