Poisonous Arrow

Poisonous Arrow

In the previous chapter, the importance of moderation and the harms of excessive sexual intercourse have been highlighted. The question arises as to what could be termed as moderation and how often should sexual intercourse take place in the ideal marriage?

It is difficult to pronounce a hard and fast rule as far as this question is concerned. The answer will vary from individual to individual, keeping in mind the need of both husband and wife. However a general guideline in this regard should serve as a source of guidance.

According to scholars once a week is acceptable and falls within the ambit of moderation.

Islam promotes a life of balance and equilibrium. There is no place for extremes in any facets of life. This spirit of moderation permeates every teaching of Islam. Thus even in the issue of sexual relations, moderation would be the ideal recourse from the Islamic point of view.

In this regard, the learned elders advice that the stimulus towards sexual desire should be analysed and scrutinized carefully. If the stimulus is found to be related to an external source such as the sight of an attractive, shapely woman, sexually inciting conversations, pornographic material, etc; then this to be regarded as a false stimulus and should be ignored. This is a case of “artificial” desire. On the other hand, if the stimulus is internal, the passion and desire growing from within, then it should be regarded as a case of genuine desire and hence to be satisfied. A feeling of gratification, fulfillment, satisfaction and serenity will be the result of such a union. Where as coition due to a false stimulus will cause weakness, restlessness and even physical damage to the human body.

Q.) What is the Shar'ee ruling on the intermingling of sexes, especially in these times? Please quote relevant verse and Ahaadeeth.

A.) It is rather unfortunate that sin and evil has become so rife nowadays that people don't even regard sin as sin anymore and how true are the words of our beloved Rasul Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam, 'A time will dawn upon man that Zina (adultery) will become so widespread that the most pious man in this world will be that person who witnesses two people doing evil on the street pavement. This person would go up to them and tell them to do it behind a tree. He will not stop them from the evil rather he would tell them that instead of doing it in front of everybody, they should go and do their actions behind a tree. The person who tells them this will be the most pious person. Today, we are presently experiencing the above adultery is being done openly, everywhere without any prohibition or obstruction.' (Islahi Khutubaat, Mufti Taqi Usmani vol.7 pg.32)

Islam has laid down some universal fundamental rights for humanity as a whole, which are to be observed and respected under all circumstances. To achieve these rights, Islam provides not only legal safeguards, but also a very effective moral system. Thus, whatever leads to the welfare of the individual or the society is morally good in Islam and whatever is injurious is morally bad. Islam attaches so much importance to the love of God and love of man that it warns against too much formalism. We read in the Qur'an:

It is not righteousness that you turn your faces towards the East or West; but it is righteousness to believe in God and the Last Day and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the freeing of captives; to be steadfast in prayers, and practice regular charity; to fulfil the contracts which you made; and to be firm and patient in pain and adversity and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-conscious. (2:177)

It is important that cohabitation take place at the correct times in order to ensure good health for the couple as well as their child-to-be, Allah willing.

The act of intercourse should ideally take place when there is a state of relaxation and temperamental balance in both husband and wife. Any form of tension or pressure in the form of hunger, thirst, anger, depression- illness, etc. will dampen the pleasure.

Faqih Abdul-Laith Samarqandi (Rahimahumullah) writes in his book BUSTAN that the correct time for intercourse is the latter part of the night because the stomach is full during the early part of the night and intercourse is undesirable on a full stomach. It is thus clear that intercourse is undesirable in the early hours of the night. The same has been recorded in TIBBE-NABAWI.

Islam permits Muslims to satisfy their sexual needs only through lawful marriage. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) ordained man to be different than all other irrational creatures. Sayyid Sabeq, in his book, 'Fiqhu-Sunnah', comments as follows:" Islam controls and organizes the sexual behavior and needs. A perfect system is laid down by Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) to maintain and preserve the honor, dignity, and respect of man. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) ordained that a mutual acceptance and agreement must be secured for a marriage relationship between a man and a woman. The man and the woman who are to establish a marriage contract and relationship must perform a "Request" and an "Acceptance". Both spouses to be must have witnesses to testify that marriage contract. Thus, a proper and safe way for this relationship is established. Moreover, the progeny, which is a byproduct of this relationship is also protected, well preserved, and properly cared for. In addition, the woman in Islam is also protected by such contract against unlawful and harmful relationships. Islam established the basis of a nucleus family that is nourished by the mother, and supported by the father. Thus, the products of this marriage are lawful relationship, which would grow up in a fine and suitable environment. This is the system that Islam accepts and maintains for its Believers and as such, it ruins all other unlawful and meaningless relationships"[23].

Devamını oku

At times, the gaze involuntarily falls upon an attractive woman, which causes excitement of the passion. In such circumstances, what should be done? The Hadith provides guidance.

“When women emerge outdoors, they appear in the form of shaitaan, thus if any of you accidentally gaze at her and take fancy to her, he should consort with his wife, for she has the same that the other woman has.”

This will cleanse the heart form evil intentions, ideas and thoughts. At the same time, the fire of passion and desire that was kindled, will be calmed and cooled in a lawful manner.

Due to the corrupt and immoral environment most people are living in these days, exposure to all kinds of shameless filth in the form of videos, TV, films, plays, newspapers, magazines and even telephone lines (087..no’s) has become a common trend.

Hence many men and women indulge in fantasizing about others during sexual intercourse with their own partners. This is totally haram and a grave sin in Islam. It ressembles zina and could veritably be termed the zina of the heart or mind!

This point in clearly verified from a Hadith of Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) that reads:” To gaze at a strange (ghair mahram) woman is zina (adultery) of the eyes,

Zina is Arabic word which means immorality and it has two meanings. One Zina carries a punishment and the other Zina does not carry a punishment.

Prophet (pbuh) said: "Allah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of Zina, and there is no way to escape from it. The Zina of the eye is a glance, the Zina of the tongue is speaking, and the Zina of the mind is wishing and hoping; then the private part either acts upon this or it does not" (Bukhari, 11/26; Muslim, 2046).



Zina according to the Qur'an is sexual intercourse outside marriage between consenting adults, whether they are married or not.

Zina is one of the forbidden deeds, one of the most serious major sins (kabaa'ir) after shirk and killing. (Surah, al-Furqan 25:68-70). The Qur'an says, " And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse (Zina). Verily, it is a faahishah (anything that transgresses its limits-a great sin) and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him). Surah, al-Isra', 17: 32. This means not doing any deed that may get close to Zina, or lead to it such as being alone with a member of the opposite sex, touching, looking, going to evil places, speaking a haraam manner to a woman to whom one is not related, thinking about and planning immoral acts, etc.

Raj'm is the punishment of stoning to death for adultery which is a Mosaic Law found in the Old Testament or Torah. Rajm was practiced by Prophet (pbuh) before the revelation of the verse of 100 lashes for adultery or fornication (24: 2). Adultery in the English language is defined as illicit sexual intercourse by married men and women. Fornication in the English language is defined as illicit sexual intercourse by unmarried men and women.

In this article the topics of pedophilia, incest, rape, sodomy, oral sex, homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality, necrophilia, and other deviations will not be covered.



Punishment for Zina1



Allah (SWT) has prescribed Hadd punishment for adultery. What is the punishment for adultery? According to the Qur'an, the punishment is Flogging with a 100 stripes (both for men and women) [24:2]. The punishment for ‘faahishah’ which means gross indecency (e.g. stripping naked or 'being lewd' in public), according to the Qur'an is "confine them to houses until death do claim them (lifelong house arrest - for the women) [4:15]. For men: "If they repent and amend, leave them alone" [4:16].

Islam prevents crime rather than punish the criminal.

Linguistically, hudud in Arabic means limits or preventions. Legally, they are limits, which prevent the crime from increasing in society, prevent the criminal from going back to similar crimes, and prevent those who think about the same crime from pursuing it. Hudud in this sense are not merely punishments, on the contrary, they are limits and preventive means placed within a larger framework of justice, related directly to the interests of people to serve the ultimate objectives of the Islamic law.

The Quran has emphatically prohibited sexual intercourse during menstruation:

“Abstain (sexually) from women during menstruation” –2/222

ALLAH (Rabbul-Izzat), the Creator of man, knows best what is beneficial and what is harmful to man. All objects of harm have been forbidden for man because they will cause him difficulty and harship. Sexual intercourse during menstruation falls into thiscategory.

Today, many centuries later, medical science has discovered that the flow of menstruation contains certain toxic matters that could be detrimental if they gain entry into the body of the male or is prevented a clear passage of flow from the body of the female-both of which could easily occur if sexual intercourse takes place during intercourse.

“Every religion has its characteristic, and the characteristic of Islam is modesty.”

This statement made some 1400 years ago by the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is just as relevant today as it was then. The Prophet lived in turbulent times, when slavery, debauchery, drunkenness and sexual abuse was rife; when poor women could be maltreated without redress and wealthy women could live totally without morals if they wished, without much criticism.

When the Prophet was a teenage boy he was one of the founder members of a society of “Knights of Justice” created by his uncle, determined to bring protection and fair dealing to the weak and insecure. He, and those of like mind, were loved and admired for their nobility, years before the revelation of Islam. The revelations, when they came, encouraged and exhorted them to show others that compassion, generosity, courage, modesty and patient faith were the right way to live.

In Islam, sexuality is considered part of our identity as human beings. In His creation of humankind, God distinguished us from other animals by giving us reason and will such that we can control behavior that, in other species, is governed solely by instinct. So, although sexual relations ultimately can result in the reproduction and survival of the human race, an instinctual concept, our capacity for self-control allows us to regulate this behavior. Also, the mere fact that human beings are the only creatures who engage in sexual relations once they are beyond the physical capacity for reproduction, sets us apart from all other species which engage in sex for the sole purpose of reproduction.



Marraige



For Muslims, based on an understanding of Qur'an and hadith, sexual relations are confined to marriage between a wife and husband. Within this context, the role of a healthy sexual relationship is extremely important. Having and raising children are encouraged among Muslims. Once a child is born, the parents are expected to care for, nurture and prepare the child for adulthood, with a goal of imparting Islam so that the individual is equipped with knowledge and willingness to accept and practice Islam and thus become a productive member of society.

The various permissible positions have been discussed already under the relevant section (chapter 5.0). The standing posture, although permissible, is undesirable for intercourse due to health reasons.

The author of TIBBUN-NABAWI writes that coitus in the standing posture causes the body to become weak. It also causes harm to the nerves and veins. He further writes that coitus on a full-stomach results in dim-witted, dull-minded progeny.

Coitus in the standing position also causes the condition of Ra’sha (perpetual Tremor). This is probably due to damage of the nerves and nervous-system.

If the couple wish to engage in sexual intercourse more than once then it is best that they take a bath before the second coitus. If not, then at least to perform wudhu. If not they should at least wash their genitals clean.

It is the experience of the elders that a person who re-engages in sexual intercourse without doing any of the above, the resultant off-spring will be mentally-retarded or will be niggardly in nature.

The author of IHYA emphasizes that the least every couple should do before re-engaging in sexual intercourse is to pass water and wash their genitals clean without this they should not indulge in sex.

It is undesirable to talk excessively during intercourse. Talk should be limited to bare necessity. Islam advocates dignity even at such occasions. Faqih Abul-Laith Samarqandi writes in his book BUSTAN that excessive speech during coitus could be the cause of dumbness in the off-spring to be. This habit should be shunned.

It is undesirable for both the partners to look at each others genitals. The author of SHRATUL-ISLAM writes that looking (habitually) at the private parts of the woman could result in blind off-spring.

Although it is permissible for the husband and wife to look at every part of each others’ anatomy, it is an undesirable act from the moral point of view. Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) never looked at Hazrat Aisha (Radiyallahnu-Anhum), nor did she look at him (at the private area).