Poisonous Arrow

Poisonous Arrow

In her bedroom, Saleema was sitting on her bed, staring at the beautiful red sari with rich jardosi embroidery on the borders.

“Saleema baaji … Saleema baaji!” Sabeera sounded excited as she entered Saleema’s room.

“Baaji, guess what?!” The excitement in her tone was increasing.

“Papa has agreed to take me on Hajj after your wedding.”

Saleema forced a light smile and said in a low voice, “Oh, that’d be good, Sabeera. I’m happy for you.”

The enemy (Satan) is weakening the forces of the servants of Allah through sexual immorality.
Why have we allowed ourselves to be drawn into sexual sin?

The mind is the most powerful sex organ in our bodies and the eyes serve as a catalyst to turn on the mind. This is obviously true for men, and for women as well - although in a different way and to a lesser degree. So whether we are male or female, we need to find out what to do about sex in the head before it becomes sex in the bed with someone other than your spouse.

For a man, the ON switch for sex is the mind. It is as if a sexual stimulator runs from the eyes to the mind to male sexual organs. The eyes see it, the mind thinks it, and the body is ready to go.

For centuries, Muslim women in all corners of the world have been aware of the liberation that is achieved by wearing a scarf or hijab. Current world events have once again brought the issue of women's liberation in Islam to the forefront of people's minds.

Can a Woman Wearing a Scarf Be Liberated?

Can a religion that considers morality to be a part of faith clearly define the equality of men and women and their rights and responsibilities?

The answer is yes. In a day and age when the basic tenants of Islam are being questioned by Muslim and non-Muslim alike, we must be cautious when evaluating Islam.

We turn now to the procedures of marriage in Islam. When a girl reaches the age of marriage it is customary for the Muslim parents to play a major role in the choice of the husband, but she must be consulted. It is reported that when a girl came to the Prophet complaining that she had been married without being consulted, the Prophet directed that she was free to have the marriage dissolved if she wished.

Nowadays educated Muslim girls are having a greater say in the choice of husband, but it is still considered that the parents' opinion of the boy is of great importance, and it is rare part of the Muslim tradition for either to be married with the consent of their parents or guardians.

A widow or a divorcee however may marry whoever she wishes, presumably because she is considered to have enough maturity and experience to decide for herself.

Evidence from the Holy Quran: Believers, men and women, are protectors, one of another: then enjoin what is right and forbid what is evil.(Surah at-Tawba:71) Quran: And say to the believing women that then should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands of their sons, or the sons of their husbands or their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons or their women or those whom their right hands possess, or the male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known... (Surah an-Noor:31)

The human body takes on three postures most naturally; i.e. standing, sitting (or squatting) and laying down. As far as the positions of sexual intercourse are concerned, Islam has granted general permission provided that no unnatural act such as anal sex is performed.

How ever from medical point of view, sex in the standing position is undesirable (a complete chapter on this issue further ahead)

Thus two postures remain; the sitting or squatting posture and the sleeping posture. In this regard, there are certain subtle indications in the Quran and Hadith.
For example, in one verse of the Quran, Allah Ta’ala states:-

The Psychological preparation for sexual intercourse is equally important as intercourse itself. Anything that will cause distraction or distaste should be avoided completely. This will turn the opposite partner “off”, with detrimental consequences for the couple as well as their marriage.

Amongst the factors that are a major “turn-off” is dirt, filth, bad, odours and uncivilized behaviour. Particularly a bad odour from the mouth or body is very unpleasant and the habit of smoking can kill passion and desire for the opposite partner altogether. It is of extreme importance that the mouth be clean, especially with smokers, who should take extra precaution in this regard.

A woman is usually described as a man’s better half. Is she the better half or is she the only half that matters? Is she a half at all? A man is usually measured by the success he achieves in life, by his material possessions, and by how “high” he has climbed the social ladder. Part of this self-proclaimed success in this “man’s world” is a nice car, nice house, nice business, nice children, nice wife, nice friends, nice holidays, nice toys, etc., etc. (Note that the wife is listed under possessions.) Very rarely is the wife acknowledged or given credit for the man’s success. What is the reason for this malady?

Perceptions of Women

Why do some men treat women in total fairness and give them the respect that they deserve, while other men treat their wife as a mere possession? Islam very firmly and clearly granted all women the God–given right of equality and fair treatment. Before this era, women were treated as inferior citizens. In Europe, the theory was that women were a sub-species between ape and human, and others propagated the notion that women do not have souls. A female child was treated with total disdain and was even buried alive to hide the “humiliation” of the parents.

I am confronted on a regular basis with the growing phenomenon of pornography in the lives of Muslim husbands. Though it may come as a shock to many, according to concerned wives, pornography is becoming an increasing phenomenon for some Muslim men. It raises many questions, beginning with the most basic one: What is pornography an outlet for, specifically? Why are so many men turning to the "lesser adultery" or the adultery of the eyes despite their knowing - and not seeming to care - that both Allah and their wives are aware of their pastime? How can we better understand a Muslim adult male's desire to indulge in viewing pornographic material despite its illicit nature?

This article aims to explore some of these questions. Although no scientific data is available to make any formal claims about the topic at hand, I will attempt to provide some possible key underlying factors that contribute to the use of pornography by some Muslim husbands. To begin, I will frame my approach to understanding this issue in the context of the marital relationship.

It is narrated by Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." (At-Tirmidhi)

Those who achieve insufficient satisfaction from sexual intercourse and return to masturbation, or never give it up, the torments are great. Everywhere they look, their friends are unashamedly enjoying the pleasures of normal sexual relationship. No part of society caters for them and they are even cowardly shy to campaign for "Masturbators Liberation." Sex life for most of them is fairly empty.

One of the most humiliating problems that the constant male masturbator suffers from when he attempts to have sexual relationship is premature ejaculation or the failure to maintain an erection. When he is masturbating, he tends to reach his orgasm as quickly as possible, but in sexual intercourse he normally has to attempt to control his excitement, which can impose a great strain on a person who indulged in self-abuse over a lengthy period.

In Islam there is absolutely no difference between men and women as far as their relationship to God is concerned, as both are promised the same reward for good conduct and the same punishment for evil conduct.

The Qur'an, in addressing the believers, often uses the expression, 'believing men and women' to emphasize the equality of men and women in regard to their respective duties, rights, virtues and merits. It says:

For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in God's praise, for them has God prepared forgiveness and great reward. (33:35)

“Masturbation is generally considered forbidden in Islam since it is deemed to fall under the category of sexual satisfaction outside the framework of marriage.

According to the Qur’an, those who seek fulfillment outside the framework of marriage are deemed transgressors. Referring to this, Allah Almighty says: “Those who guard their sexual organs except with their spouses or those whom their right hands possess, for (with regard to them) they are without blame. But those who crave something beyond that are transgressors.” (Al-Mu'minoon:5-7)

SHAHID ATHAR

If you tell kids about sex, they'll do it. If you tell them about VD, they'll go out and get it. Incredible as may seem, most oppositions to sex education in this country are based on the assumption that knowledge is harmful. But research in this area reveals that ignorance and unresolved curiosity, not knowledge, are harmful. Our failure to tell children what they want and need to know is one reason we have the highest rates of out-of-wedlock teens pregnancy and abortion of any highly developed country in the world."

"What Kids Need to Know,"
Psychology Today, October 1986. Dr. Sol Gordon,

Prof. Winood Reacle says: “The events make us wonder whether there is a world other than the one we are living in and whether we will be rewarded for our good deeds and punished for the bad ones.

Seeking eternity has been an innate tendency of men affirmed by most of the scholars. Desire to live eternally is a psychological proof that there are other spheres. Just like hunger and thirst… Thirst signifies the presence of water. This is a sincere relation between water and men. Similarly, that human feels the existence of the Hereafter is the sign that it exists. Or such a sphere must have been created. Now that the creator can run the suns and atoms equally easily; why should we be concerned?

In the ideal Islamic situation, the husband and wife will most probably be total strangers to each other, having no kind of personal contact with each other previously due to the strict laws of hijab and pardah in the Shariah,. Coupled with this feeling of strangeness are the natural constraints of haya and modesty, that form an integral part of Imaan. Under the particular circumstances it is quite natural that both the husband and wife will be extremely bashful of each other and under considerable strain and anxiety.

In order to “break the ice”, they firstly greet each other with the traditional Islamic greetings of salaam. Thereafter the husband should gently place his right hand on his bride’s forehead and recite